Written for and originally published on Good Clean Love
Maybe you’re trying to conceive and want to support an optimal environment for conception, or you're feeling extra dry because of hormonal changes during (and after) pregnancy. Or maybe you’ve just started having sex and you are learning about the kinds of touch that turn you on. Or maybe you’re having a dry spell because a medication you’re taking affects your body’s natural lubrication. You might even be going through menopause, a dramatic change of the body’s hormonal landscape, and you’d like a little more lubrication.
How and when to use a personal lubricant can change as your body and intimate life mature. Here’s our guide for the top five most helpful times to use lube:
When You're Learning
For all genders, the first times having sex can be exhilarating…and also frustrating, because it takes many of us some years to learn the rhythms and kinds of touch our bodies enjoy most and that make for the most enjoyable sex. Orgasm can be difficult for many people with vaginas, especially during their early sex life, when the excitement of a new experience can make it difficult to find the focus and calm necessary for release, and for the lubrication necessary for deep arousal. Add some lube, though, and the arousal response should naturally follow.
When You're Trying to Conceive (TTC)
If you are trying to conceive, either through intercourse or home insemination, we recommend a fertility-friendly lubricant such as Good Clean Love Biogenesis Fertility Lubricant, as it can help support healthy pH, sperm health, and conception.
Biogenesis™ is the first and only fertility-friendly (and sperm-safe) lube that's paraben-free and includes magnesium and calcium ions to support your fertility journey. Developed by leading scientists, BioGenesis™ uses an innovative buffering mechanism to Bio-Match® optimal vaginal pH ranges while simultaneously supporting sperm viability and motility. It works with your body to create both an optimal environment for conception and a comfortable experience.
Additionally, when you’re trying to conceive through intercourse, sex can become overwhelmingly important, and even stressful (especially if you're timing intercourse!) While it’s unclear whether orgasm increases the chance of conception, it is clear that it feels really good, and that feeling good with your partner is a bonding experience and reduces stress, too. Stress and tension can cause vaginal dryness; lube can help loosen things up so you can both relax while baby dancing.
During Pregnancy and After
The hormonal changes a birthing person's body undergoes during pregnancy can affect their sexual desire and response for a while after the baby is delivered. Vaginal dryness, irritation, even pain with penetration are common. Lubricant can enhance your body’s natural lubrication response, which can be especially sluggish while a new parent is chestfeeding. Chestfeeding is a perfect example on when to use lube. While occasional discomfort with sex is common, of course, it’s best to check with your doctor about any discomfort you’re having.
During a Dry Spell
Almost all of us have them. We want to respond instantly to our partner’s touch, but for whatever reason, or for no reason at all, we just don’t. Maybe work is busy, and while we know that really good sex will help us relax, the initial relaxation necessary for pleasant penetration is elusive. Here’s where a little assistance from a reliable lube can help your body relax to the point where pleasure naturally takes over.
What’s more, a good lubricant can not only help combat vaginal dryness, it can keep your vaginal flora balanced, so that sex, which can be stressful to sensitive vaginal tissues, doesn’t upset a healthy pH balance. Look for a pH balanced lubricant when shopping.
During Menopause and Beyond
Like pregnancy, menopause changes the hormonal world of the body drastically. What once came naturally no longer does. What once was predictable no longer is. All of the changes can be frustrating, and can be stressful. A good quality, pH-balanced moisturizer can be especially helpful for vaginal dryness. It gives you back the glide and helps keep vaginal flora in balance.